Over the last week I’ve been in a travel haze but being so many places it’s given me time to spend time with people who matter to me. The types of friends and family you can go six months to a year without having a real conversation with but the second you are together everything is as if a minute hasn’t passed.
In these moments of pure connection I was reminded of a scene from Clueless where Cher realizes that even though she is clearly “the best” that her friends were all pretty awesome and special in their own ways:
“And then I realized, all my friends were really good in different ways. Like, Christian, he always wants things to be beautiful and interesting. Or Dionne and Murray, when they think no one is watching, are so considerate of each other.”
It seems so simple. Of course we’re friends with someone because we appreciate them. Aren’t we?
I think this is another place where we go through life following what is in front of us and the path of least resistance. We have our mothers friends babies from playgroup, whoever happens to be in our nursery school even whatever mothers belong to the same gym and drop us in the babysitting area. Whatever it is from our first moments the lives around us suggest and influence what friends will be chosen for us.
This becomes a path that follows us through life with school, sports and other extracurriculars. This was more prevalent before internet and cell phones and the world became smaller and smaller but its still true up to a certain age and mobility level that the convenience factor dictates who we spend our time with and therefor create the bonds that will last until our life takes a turn and new bonds are created for the same reasons: our freshman dorm mates; sorority sisters; study partners and partners in crime.
We make friends at work and in our new cities and we hold onto friendships but it’s only after we’ve matured, moved into our own homes and found comfort in who we are and what we do that we can begin curating and growing the friendships that will be with us our entire lives. The family we weren’t born into but chose to make a part of our lives. The people who will become the godparents to our children and the aunts and uncles to our dogs. Those are the people I’m talking about right now.
Choosing these people. Opening our lives. Nurturing them into friendships that will last well beyond a changing phase is what helps us also know ourselves and often brings out the best versions of ourselves and who we truly want to be.
I have been lucky on this journey to be able to really connect. To take time and talk with friends, spend the few days I have in each place connecting and then truly re-connecting to what is is within them that inspires me. There are so many things in every human that makes them special and beautiful on the inside and out.
I want you all to do two things. 1. Share with someone you care about just one thing they do that shows you a special part of them. 2. Share with me something about someone around you that inspires you, that makes you see the world in a different way
Pause Explore 